How to be happy in January

January 28, 2019llzranch Leave a comment

I’ve been thinking about selecting a good topic to discuss this January, but the grey sky, wind chills, and snow are like a blizzard in my brain, obscuring creativity. Some days, when the sun shines on new snow, however, my mind clears and I appreciate that nature is beautiful.

Many other days are gloomy when the sky is grey, the fields are grey, and even the trees’ brown bark looks grey. On those days, just a smidge of sunshine through the clouds pinpointing a building is charming. The scene visually and emotionally brightens the day.

I don’t want to wish away a quarter of my year hiding from cold and waiting for spring. I venture outside at least twice a day to feed horses, barn cats, and check other critters. The sound of horses snorting as they munch prairie hay improves my mood.

Sometimes, the very act of walking in crisp January air is invigorating in unexpected ways. It’s possible to experience beauty in a brief glimmer of the sun at a particular time of day at a specific location. For example, indoor Christmas lights reflected on this wishing well in late afternoon to create an unusual effect. I would have missed this moment if I stayed indoors.

Sunrise is often inspirational in winter, just as finding the photos to create this blog inspires me to spend more time outdoors today, and in the days ahead. These unexpectedly beautiful moments help me be less worried about cold weather. Happy January everyone!

Retirement Anxiety

December 29, 2018llzranch Leave a comment

I’ve worked part-time selling irrigation parts, in a kitchen dish room, and winding used film. My full-time jobs include working for a grant-funded group home, a developmental disabilities office, and a state college. I’ve been employed in some capacity for nearly fifty years. Each job provided a regular paycheck. My anxiety is on high alert without a paycheck for the first time in my adult life.

Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

I thought about retiring for nearly a year. When I was confident that I should retire, I considered when to retire. I selected a date close to my birthday and turned in a letter of resignation giving three month’s notice. I sought a peaceful exit from employment. Many events unfolded during those three months that made me question my timing. This lovely chocolate dessert was a happy departure from a series of unhappy events.

The college hired a new vice president who was my supervisor for a few weeks before I retired. He holds many similar views to my own regarding student services. It will be interesting to see if he is able to change the negative culture that shaped my decision to leave employment at this time.

It was also short-sighted of me to retire before the Christmas holiday. Another paycheck would be helpful now until retirement funds become available.

On the home front, my rural well failed. The well company was unable to remove a dysfunctional pump from the old well. The first attempt at a new well was a failure, beginning with clay collapsing into the new pit, installing 80 feet of steel piping to stabilize the clay, and running into rocks below 80 feet. It took two waterless weeks for the crew to drill a new 220 foot well that reliably produces potable water. The expense nearly drained my savings.

A colleague and I are setting up a mental health private practice in the county seat. This process also involves start-up costs to pay for office rent, insurance, legal fees, accounting fees, etc. It’s unclear how long it will take to generate income.

As winter weather settles around me, I’d like to take a vacation to a warm place. It’s 6 degrees Fahrenheit today and dropping as the day goes on. However, I’d like to feel more financially secure before I make definite plans.

Seasons

October 23, 2018llzranch 2 Comments

There’s been a little snow here early this fall after weeks of wet cold, and now late October warm sunshine. As the season progresses, I’m progressing toward retirement. I selected a last workday, and turned in a letter to make the retirement official. It is a really difficult decision to walk away from students and long-term coworkers. I’m hopeful that it’s the right time to finish this part of my life and move on to the next stage.

Today was a good day to scurry around finishing fall chores. My son built a horse feeder that will make it easy for me to feed the horses this winter. He is also sawing and splitting enough wood for me to make it through the coldest part of winter.

The summer garden produced potatoes, onions, carrots, beets, and turnips. Tomato cages are cleaned and stacked in the garden shed. I hauled dead tomato vines, pruned branches, and frosted pepper plants to a compost pile. The warm-season part of the garden is finished for the year.

However, the fall lettuce crop is doing great. Chard keeps its brilliant color through cold nights. There are also volunteer cilantro and dill plants that survived the early snow.

Harvesting fall veggies made all the summer work worthwhile. I expect retirement to give me more days to play in the garden. Gosh, maybe I’ll have time to start garden plants from seed next year. https://www.seedsavers.org/starting-seeds

onions & potatoes

carrots

turnips

Barn Swallows

September 23, 2018llzranch Leave a comment

The barn swallows are gone for this year. They left sometime in September. https://www.allaboutbirds.org/guide/Barn_Swallow/id

I watch for their return Mid-May every year in Nebraska. I know they will leave end of summer and think I’ll say good-bye this year. I look for them in the evenings, and find they are already gone like quicksilver. One minute it’s there, the next second it slips through my fingers. My reflexes aren’t fast enough to see. Their migratory pattern is fixed in their DNA. https://journeynorth.org/tm/swallow/News.html

I like to watch the swallows dip and dive on warm summer evenings at twilight. I imagine it’s possible to see them snapping up mosquitos and flies, cleaning my backyard for human outdoor comfort, as they feed themselves and their young nesting in my barn.

These sleek blue-black birds left about the time I ordered a new black mobile briefcase to roll to new part-time self-employment. Buying new supplies for a new post-retirement career is easy and fun. Writing the letter of resignation to leave my position after 39 years with the same employer is hard.

Over the years, and through many different administers, I worked to provide more and different kinds of help to students. Until the last few years, those administrations supported and encouraged my program’s efforts. They believed in the concept of helping students through many obstacles, enhancing their graduation rates. The current one doesn’t share that view. This leader’s focus is public relations, and self-image.

The program I’m leaving has been reduced to near nonexistence. Theoretically, that should make it easier to retire, however leaving is bittersweet. I’m hopeful the next person in this position will be more articulate, and able to make a case to recover lost services that benefit students.

I’ll build my own mud nest, ready to hatch and fledge a new direction.

Animal Friends

September 4, 2018llzranch Leave a comment

We make commitments to each other in our marriage vows, to our children when we decide to become parents, and to the animals that share our lives. Dogs and cats sometimes live 15 years, but horses can live 25 or 30 years. Marriages end through death or divorce, as mine did. Commitment to my animal friends has been more enduring.

Today’s blog is about the horses that have “peopled” my life. My husband loves horses. He was the driving force to buy our first horse. The Appaloosa mare was pregnant. She gave birth to a big spotted foal. We provided a home for Jody and Cheyenne until they passed about twenty years later.

Our next horses were another mare for him named Rose, and an old gelding for me named Blue. Blue was old when we bought him, but he was just right for me. He was tough to catch, but very gentle to ride. My kids and many friends enjoyed riding Blue. He lived until he was over thirty-years-old

Rose gave birth to six babies over the years; two fillies and four colts. One of the foals died after a few weeks, but the rest grew into big beautiful mares and geldings. The last addition to the group was an Appaloosa gelding for my son. My son was 13 years-old, named his new horse Apache (even though the Appaloosa breed is associated with the Nez Perce tribe in Idaho, it seemed right to name him for a brave Native American nation) and broke him to ride. https://oregonencyclopedia.org/articles/appaloosa_horse_breed/#.W46IqPZFyUk

When my husband and I divorced, we divided the horses. He took four and I kept three. Apache, one of those three, belonged to my son. Apache was the “go-to-horse” for new and inexperienced riders. Like Blue before him, Apache taught many people to ride. In the drought year of 2012, grass was sparse and dry. The horses pushed their noses under trees and bushes searching for fresh greens. Apache punctured both eyes on sharp grasses or tree branches. We treated his wounds as much as he would allow (a month in the barn alone, inserting lotions in both eyes is a challenge when the horse patient doesn’t cooperate). We finally turned him back to pasture with the other horses. He adapted wonderfully, even running blind across the hills with his mates. He came to the feed bunk when I called him, walking carefully till he first touched the bunk with his nose. [Apache is the mostly-white Appaloosa in the center of the photo below]

This summer has been a tough one for Apache. He lost weight, became unsteady on his feet, and as Labor Day approached, went down and couldn’t labor to right himself. The wonderful veterinarian (the same one that treated his eyes six years ago) said his heart was barely beating. She gave him something to peacefully end his life . We said goodbye to this faithful friend of twenty-five years this weekend and buried him on a grassy knoll.

Vacation and back to school

August 10, 2018llzranch Leave a comment

A week exploring western Nebraska and eastern Wyoming ended with a visit to the Dignity statue in central South Dakota. She is impressive from Interstate 90 as well as from this view at the rest stop where she resides.

The back of her blanket is beautiful as well.

It was a peaceful and fitting finish to vacation to visit Dignity on the hill outside Chamberlain, SD as a storm approached. I’m returning to work for a few more months, coinciding with the beginning of a new school year. I expect a lot of work-storms during that time period.

I’m planning a new venture for the months ahead after retiring from my current position. Vacation helped me clarify plans for the future. Putting a future option in place eases my discomfort with ending a long career just to face empty days as winter sets in. I’ll write more about my plans in future blog entries. Today’s entry appropriately ends with a photo of the Dignity’s dedication in 2016.

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High Summer

July 25, 2018llzranch Leave a comment

It’s late July, high summer season for garden harvests, flowers and mosquitos. It’s also the general timeline I gave myself to make a retirement decision. I can busy myself picking green beans, husking sweet corn and pruning flower beds to avoid difficult decisions. It’s been a great year for green beans. This is an early harvest.

Plentiful rain results in beautiful flowers.

The flowers are pretty even when shared with another of Mother Nature’s creatures.

Tending to nature’s bounty is a peaceful way to consider options. Time on the lake fishing is another kind of peace. My pole’s in the water on a foggy morning.

This view and the cover photo are of Lake Oahe in South Dakota. http://sdmissouririver.com/follow-the-river/the-four-lakes-and-dams/lake-oahe/

	Anna \| Yes, Little H… on Timing
	llzranch on Seasons
	Sarah Russell on Seasons
	Marc-André on Hail Storm to Heat Wave
	Bryan Fagan on Windmills

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